LIVE MUSIC MOVES

THE BUMHOLES ARE ON FIRE

January 2026 had me down and out! A loss of identity, or self. A loss of confidence; which I rely on. The mental sickness was tied together with physical fatigue, cold, flu, fever, aches a combine jab of don't get our of bed. As the body is the mind and the mind is body.

Last night I stood tall again. I felt it rush through me. I see a path clearer then ever. My day's of "have you see a drag show before" "woooooo" are coming to an end. Im proud and confident to say I am a drag queen with my own band. A drag queen not needing to lip-sync a whole set - can always chuck one in every now and then. A drag queen with a set.

Im back!

Its been the mountainous climb to return to the ecstatic creation that is BLEACH. Taking a four year anniversary of POPPER's - a incredible night of SPAT!AWARDS which had sent me right back to bed for anther week. I started walking again with my Broadcast POPPERs on the Radio reminding me of my joys. To DJing Refuge Worldwide's 5th birthday party club night. Shaken with out my crutches of weed and drag confidence. I stumbled songs on and off, till I found a groove half way through in Prince, and held on strong till the end. Maybe its the age, maybe its the world, its most certainly the time of year. But my unshakeable sense of I can punk anything. I can achieve anything I believe in. Was snapped away from me. Where did it come from in the first place. How can it be so easily removed. A feeling of anything is possible when the mind is right. Id proven it to my self over and over. This drag queen with no wigs. This singer with no timing. No university or training in what I do. Learn by doing, and be brilliant by doing it. This month I learnt it dose not take much for it to be thrown away. Off the side of that mountain deep into valley. No photos, videos or people telling you what you had achieved could bring it back. For it was only you that could dive deep into the water grasp it, pull it to the surface and climb that mountain again.

It started to tear at my closest relationships. I would spiral into feeling's not seen since childhood. Escalated into rage, despair and loss. I took help in a somatic therapy session which explained my life is very intertwined. My identity is my job, my friends are my colleges, if work is not there. Which Ive learnt in January for most freelancers is the reality. Means I crumbled. Kryptonite for a queen. I started looking up jobs in cafe's - maybe my time as a Full Time Drag Queen had come to an end, for it was a good run. I know what I want. I know how to do it. I just don't have the resources there in front of me. I lost hope that it would come together. But hope is what I preach. I started to not trust my own words. I see it clearly, I will be an old drag queen. On a sofa. Telling stories and spinning records. With irregular intense shows of energy. Now I need to just play this world to get to my vision.

It took a band hot as lava to remind me, last night was the first Bumholes show of 2026. We played Schokoladen with Janitor supporting and Anita Drink DJing presented by SHEENA IS. I didn't know how much this gig would mean. How it would cement, cast, imbed the reality that live music moves me. Live music is my joy. Standing on stage in front of live music is where I shall be! We had written two new songs, Im proud of my lyrics and the sound is thick, dense layered flavour. With variety in speed, volume and accents. I soaked it up. As the audience waved. I surfed that wave from my belly to my back. I will work my hardest to have this band heard. To get the bigger stages. To record us and set in motion the next stage in the creative out put. The collaging is almost done, its time to paint the originals.

This is the high after a show, where it all seem's clear. There's no doubt a comment on my abilities, or cancelled gig will throw that under bridge again. But for now Im funnelling and working on a big year! Tomorrow night we release the 5th SPAT!MAG - the awards issue! With all the news from the ecstatic night! Next week I embark on a brand new solo show, at West Germany - 20.02.26 - It was when I looked at cafe jobs, and the potential end of my full time drag queen stretch. I said to my self put on a show! I contacted my home venue and grabbed the date. Come see a revitalised BLEACH as I produce new sounds for a theatrical drag, sex, iconoclastic show!

Written Tuesday 10th February 2026 - BERLIN